Cherish Every Moment

What Do You Do When Your Dream Comes True?

Have you ever gone for a big goal or dream and achieved it and then thought, “Now what?”

in August 2011, I captured a compelling vision of a wonderful, connected relationship with a man I could love, respect and admire. I had no idea who that man would be. But I knew somehow, some way he was in my future.

That vision propelled me forward. It led me to lose weight, get in shape, tap into my femininity, grow a spine, and learn to set boundaries with men.

I stepped out of my comfort zone in a big way, ending a 28-year marriage, traveling to new places, meeting new people, and trying new things. I got in touch with my emotions and got vulnerable enough to repeatedly put my heart on the line.

I bounced back from more than one broken heart, and willingly risked it one more time to keep moving toward that vision of a connected relationship with a man I could love, respect and admire.

The very worst of me came for a visit, but was vanquished by the very best in me. I learned about what was important to me and what really didn’t matter in the long run.

Now What?

There is one thing I hadn’t considered and that is the unusual “silence” that follows reaching a big dream.

I love my life. I love my husband. We’ll celebrate our first anniversary in September. I found the connection I was looking for and I love this man more every single day.

But here’s what people never tell you… when you spend every ounce of energy you have going for a big vision and then it becomes a reality, you’re thrilled about that, but after you’ve gone a little ways living this new life, it starts to feel normal.

Then you hear people talking about going for big dreams and you think, “I don’t have a dream to pursue. I’m living my dream.”

And somehow you wonder if that’s wrong. Shouldn’t I always have some big passionate dream I’m going for? There very well could be some other dream that will capture my passion around the corner. But even if there isn’t, I’ve decided my passion is to make the most of the gift I’ve been given.

CherishEveryMoment-FBPostMake The Most of Where You Are

How can I make this marriage I dreamed and longed for the best it can be? How can I show my love to this wonderful man each and every day? How can I create more peace and love in our home? How can we co-create a beautiful life together and live it to fullest?

Relationships have to be nourished and appreciated to last. Living the dream is the really fun part. Happiness isn’t “out there” in some future place anymore. It’s in the here and now. For many of us, that is a challenging shift in perspective. We tend to always want what we don’t have. I’ve decided to cherish every moment of what I DO have here and now. That is my dream. That is my passion. Soak up every ounce of love in the NOW.

Frankly, that’s probably what I should have been doing all along!

marnie and chris greek goddes and warrior

Newlywed Chronicles: A Ready Warrior

martina muir warriorMy friend Martina Muir posted in her Warriors of Light group about how she can be peaceful and love others yet still be willing to fight for truth and what’s right. She’s a ready warrior if the call comes.

I love this about Martina. It’s also one of the things I love about my husband. He models this blend so well.

People love him. He’s kind and remembers every child that goes through the schools. Whenever we leave the house, we’re always running into “one of his kids.”

Yet as former Air Force and currently a School Resource Officer, he has a strong sense of justice and is ready and willing to fight for the truth, for principle, and to protect others with his life.

It’s fun to watch the blend of tough and tender, justice and mercy, serious and silly, diplomatic and blunt wrapped in one package. Before knowing him I wouldn’t have believed such a contrasting combo could exist inside one person.

I’m more of a peace person. But I will use the power of the pen to stand up for truth. I’m the pen and he’s the sword.

One of the beautiful things about a good marriage, I think, is the new blend created by the partners’ combined strengths.

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Newlywed Chronicles: Needing a Man

I found this song by Meghan Trainor yesterday and really love it. It's about loving someone like there's no tomorrow. It made me think of how I feel about my husband. Every day I have with him is precious.

 

I woke up around 4 am this morning, unable to sleep. Chris was lying on his back, so I didn't want to disturb him. I laid there wanting to put my arms around him and feel his body next to mine. As I lay there in the stillness, I realized how much I need this man. He is such an incredible comfort to me.

He eventually turned over on his side, and I snuggled up behind him, putting my arm around his waist. I could feel him lean into me and everything was right in my world again.

I haven't allowed myself to need a man in decades. But I do need this man -- his kindness, his warmth, his touch, his love, his provision, his wisdom.

chris-marnie-dancing-weddingWhen I first told one of my friends that I had decided to divorce my first husband, she said, "I could see that coming." I was surprised because I'd never complained about him to her. I'd never said I was unhappy in my marriage.

She said, "Sometimes it's what you don't say that says the most." She continued, "You know how your friends are so important to you? That was an indicator to me that your core relationship was missing something important."

For my entire adult life I've been a people collector. I love people. I love their diversity, their viewpoints, their wisdom. But it never occurred to me that I was really searching for something I was missing in my core marital relationship.

I love my friends and always will. I have needed them and still do. But with this man, I don't feel that insatiable need to roam the world collecting people to fill a void. Some would say I shouldn't need anyone. I should be okay being alone. I can be alone. But, I am at the core a connector, a collaborator, a co-creator. I was born to be part of something synergistic.

While this marriage is beautiful, and exactly what I've longed for, it's also a bit frightening because I realize nothing, in this life, lasts forever. So I will continue to love him each and every moment as if it is our last.

chris-marnie-hug

It’s All About the Hugs

I was browsing through our wedding photos and was particular drawn to one of me giving my husband a hug. So much of the bliss I experience in marriage comes from my husband's hugs. Whether it's lying in his arms at night or the hug he gives me when he leaves for work in the morning, there's something downright addicting about having his arms around me and being close to him.

As I thought about this, I realized that I love hugs ... period. A blissful life is one filled with hugs. Hugs from friends, from children, from grandbabies, from parents... almost every precious moment in my life is punctuated with a hug. So, just for fun, I put together this little montage video of some of my favorite hugs. Hug someone today!