marnie and chris greek goddes and warrior

Newlywed Chronicles: A Ready Warrior

martina muir warriorMy friend Martina Muir posted in her Warriors of Light group about how she can be peaceful and love others yet still be willing to fight for truth and what’s right. She’s a ready warrior if the call comes.

I love this about Martina. It’s also one of the things I love about my husband. He models this blend so well.

People love him. He’s kind and remembers every child that goes through the schools. Whenever we leave the house, we’re always running into “one of his kids.”

Yet as former Air Force and currently a School Resource Officer, he has a strong sense of justice and is ready and willing to fight for the truth, for principle, and to protect others with his life.

It’s fun to watch the blend of tough and tender, justice and mercy, serious and silly, diplomatic and blunt wrapped in one package. Before knowing him I wouldn’t have believed such a contrasting combo could exist inside one person.

I’m more of a peace person. But I will use the power of the pen to stand up for truth. I’m the pen and he’s the sword.

One of the beautiful things about a good marriage, I think, is the new blend created by the partners’ combined strengths.

paulascardamalia-longeryouremarried

NewlyWed Chronicles: The Longer the Better

My husband Chris and I are approaching 5 months of wedded bliss. This morning as I was lying in his arms, I said, “I’m not seeing your flaws. I must still be in the honeymoon phase.”

He said, “Good. Stay there.”

I added, “How about we stay here for another 50 years? Let’s stay here forever.”

He thought that was a good idea.

Bob and Paula Scardamalia

Bob and Paula Scardamalia

Most people think the longer you’re married, the more boring and ordinary it becomes. My friend Paula Scardamalia says it’s the complete opposite.

By the way, Bob and Paula are one of the three couples who modeled to me what a great marriage could be. So I highly prize her wisdom. She told me this:

“The longer you’re married to somebody, the more of a delight and adventure it is. There is so much within the sexual relationship, within the emotional relationship, within the mental and the physical and even within the spiritual.

They are all journeys that if you can stay with it, if you’re willing to work within the relationship, become so much richer, so much deeper, so much more color and texture. It’s such a journey worth taking.”

Listen in as Paula expounds on why this is…

 

      PaulaScardamalia-LongerTheBetter

 

Be sure to sign up to receive our “Having It All” virtual summit audios which feature wisdom from 20 happily married women entrepreneurs.

 

 

courtneybeardall-bekindfirst

Choose To Be Happy in Your Marriage

Courtney and Dallas Beardall, married 22 years.

Courtney and Dallas Beardall, married 22 years.

Courtney Beardall wrapped up her interview with me by sharing this sage advice:

“If you’re going to be happy in your marriage, you have to decide to be happy. You have to decide and make that choice every day. You have to not just “be happy.” You have to enjoy your spouse. Find genuine joy in them. A lot of times that’s deciding to find absolute delight in their quirks and shortcomings and silly things. Choose to find delight in your spouse.

A lot of times they need someone to take the lead. They need us to find them attractive and funny and handsome and invaluable. We need to be complimenting each other. They respond to that. If you’re treating your spouse badly and you expect them to treat you wonderful, you’re dreamin’! Be brave. Be kind first.”

Listen to this short audio with Courtney

      CourtneyBeardall-BeKindFirst

Be sure to sign up for the Having It All Summit and to be notified when the book is released. You don’t want to miss a thing! There’s a box on the right-hand side of this page to sign up for notices.

About Courtney Beardall

Courtney Beardall lives with her family in Northern Wyoming. If you don’t find her in her healing room, you will find her on a mountain top with her kids or exploring something new. Learning is a life long process and she is always looking for new and better ways to incorporate science, biology and spiritual laws. She is the creator of Investigating health, an energy modality that incorporates all aspects of the human body, including hormones, chemicals, structure, physiology and behavioral disorders. She teaches online courses in energy healing. Visit her online at www.CourtneyBeardall.com

debra brown gordy defining marriage

Marriage Properly Defined Transforms Our Relationships

When I interviewed Debra Brown Gordy of TheSophiaWomensInstitute.com , she shared with me this important mind-shift about marriage that can completely change the way we view it and the results we get.

debra brown gordy“In the conventional mainstream world, marriage is viewed as a contract like a business contract or arrangement. If a person and their spouse are married in a civil ceremony, and in many cases in a religious ceremony, it’s an exchange. I do this, and you do that. That’s a contract idea.

To get into what marriage really is, we need to go beyond the idea of a “contract” to marriage being a sacred bond, grounded in a sacred lasting promise.

This kind of promise was anciently referred to as a covenant. That is what a marriage really is. When we remember and realize that, that we’re not creating just another ordinary relationship or friendship, it implies respecting, nurturing and protecting the bond.

The bond must come first.

The mistakes and wounds that hurt a marriage the most and that are the most injurious and difficult to overcome are injuries to the bond. That’s why, for instance, infidelity is such an injurious wound. It’s an injury and violation of the bond.

When we remember that marriage is a sacred bond, we invoke an entirely new level of connection and commitment between us. It’s in this new level of connection and commitment that we have access to sacred power for good that we can access no other way.

This is a mind-shift and a deepening of our understanding especially in the era we’re living in now when we are creating generations of people where divorce is increasingly common place. We have third generations of families that have an immediate history of divorce. This makes marriage sacred again.

You’ll have access to the full audio clip on this subject — her “3 Secrets to Soul-Satisfying Love” through our virtual summit. Be sure to sign up for it in the box on the right side of this page.

About Debra

Debra Brown Gordy is The Women’s Spiritual Empowerment Mentor TM & president of The Sophia Women’s Institute. For over thirty years, she has been guiding accomplished women who hunger for more love and personal fulfillment to create deeply loving marriages and fulfilling lives along with their professional success. As a relationship therapist, speaker, teacher, author and musician, Debra is known for connecting with audiences with her warmth, wit and real-life wisdom. She is the author of the forth-coming book, Cinderella Wisdom: A Woman’s Quest for Freedom, Happiness & Lasting Love, & creator of many deeply transformative programs for women including “Freeing the Heroine Within You to Flourish!” Visit her at http://www.TheSophiaWomensInstitute.com

man sweeping house

NewlyWed Chronicles: What Women Want

marnie and elijahMy 14-year-old son Elijah and I had been to the store and were on our way back. I’m not sure how the subject came up, but I took a moment to plant a few seeds with my son about the kind of man he might like to be. He’s a very kind and thoughtful young man — very helpful and has a genuine love for people.

When I spot that kind of person, I can’t resist giving him the inside secrets to getting even better results in life. I suggested to Elijah that he take the opportunity to learn as much as he could about home repairs from Chris (his stepfather). I explained that if he knows how to fix things, it’ll give him the edge when he’s ready to find a wife. Women find a man who can fix things incredibly attractive.

We walked in the house and Chris was sweeping the floor (without being asked).

I pointed to Chris and said, “Now that, that’s just hot!”

Earl of Grantham Gets Marriage Advice from His Mother Violet

Marriage Advice from The Countess of Grantham

Maggie Smith playing Countess of Grantham on Downton Abbey

Maggie Smith plays the Countess of Grantham (aka Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham) on Downton Abbey

Countess of Grantham: “You’ve been talking to Isabel….”

Earl of Grantham: “I have been talking to Cora”

Countess of Grantham: “That is a mistake.”

Lord Grantham: “You can’t expect me to avoid talking to my own wife.”

Countess of Grantham: “Why not? I know several couples who are very happy who haven’t spoken in years.”

Okay, so not the best marriage advice in the world, but you have to admit, she lets loose some zingers!

Watch Downton Abbey Season 6, Episode 3 here.

chrisandmarnie500x700

Newlywed Chronicles: Needing a Man

I found this song by Meghan Trainor yesterday and really love it. It's about loving someone like there's no tomorrow. It made me think of how I feel about my husband. Every day I have with him is precious.

 

I woke up around 4 am this morning, unable to sleep. Chris was lying on his back, so I didn't want to disturb him. I laid there wanting to put my arms around him and feel his body next to mine. As I lay there in the stillness, I realized how much I need this man. He is such an incredible comfort to me.

He eventually turned over on his side, and I snuggled up behind him, putting my arm around his waist. I could feel him lean into me and everything was right in my world again.

I haven't allowed myself to need a man in decades. But I do need this man -- his kindness, his warmth, his touch, his love, his provision, his wisdom.

chris-marnie-dancing-weddingWhen I first told one of my friends that I had decided to divorce my first husband, she said, "I could see that coming." I was surprised because I'd never complained about him to her. I'd never said I was unhappy in my marriage.

She said, "Sometimes it's what you don't say that says the most." She continued, "You know how your friends are so important to you? That was an indicator to me that your core relationship was missing something important."

For my entire adult life I've been a people collector. I love people. I love their diversity, their viewpoints, their wisdom. But it never occurred to me that I was really searching for something I was missing in my core marital relationship.

I love my friends and always will. I have needed them and still do. But with this man, I don't feel that insatiable need to roam the world collecting people to fill a void. Some would say I shouldn't need anyone. I should be okay being alone. I can be alone. But, I am at the core a connector, a collaborator, a co-creator. I was born to be part of something synergistic.

While this marriage is beautiful, and exactly what I've longed for, it's also a bit frightening because I realize nothing, in this life, lasts forever. So I will continue to love him each and every moment as if it is our last.

Allyson and Jeremy Chavez, married 19 years

Intimacy Can Improve Your Business

One of the questions I'm asking all the entrepreneurial women I'm interviewing is about intimacy. What tips, suggestions or thoughts do you have about sex in marriage? For the men reading this, you might be asking, "How to get my wife to be more sexually active?" Or if you're a woman, you might be wondering, "how can I enjoy sex more with my husband?"

I thought Allyson Chavez had some interesting insights for women -- especially career women. Her suggestion, "Be intimate a lot. Successful women entrepreneurs are in a ton of masculine energy. Intimacy for us is very feminine. It's very vulnerable. We have to be open. We have to get into that feminine power. The feminine energy is just as powerful as the masculine energy."

Audio Version:

      AllysonChavez-Intimacy

Shortened Video Version:

Get the full interview with Allyson as well as 19 other entrepreneurial women sharing their happy marriage secrets here.

 

allyson chavezAllyson Chavez is a miracles and transformation mentor and energy practitioner, specializing in teaching others how to make miracles and transform their life. Using the SimplyHealed TM method of energy work, Allyson quickly locates the false, limiting beliefs that are holding people back and keeping them playing small in their life. By removing these blocks and then reprogramming the mindset from mediocrity to miracles, clients can much more quickly and easily hold the vibrations that lead to transformation, and ultimately create miracle after miracle after miracle. And by educating her clients about the correct way to use immutable universal laws of creation, they are empowered to live life on their terms. Visit Allyson at www.AllysonChavez.com

elmer fudd what's opera doc?

NewlyWed Chronicles: Curiosity & Play

magic helmetI think one of the funnest things about being a newlywed is being curious about my husband… how he thinks, how he responds to life challenges, his fun aspects, talents, opinions and quirks. As I approach this relationship with curiosity, I find so much joy in getting to know the man I’ve married on a deeper, more playful level. He’s simply delightful.

Curiosity Helps You Stay Objective

This is something I hope to continue throughout our married life. Approaching him with that curiosity helps me stay objective.

I’ve learned over the years that curious objectivity keeps me from taking things so personally. Many times in marriage we make too much about ourselves. Events unfold, people react or pro-act. How they decide to do that is largely about them, their life experiences, their perspectives. It’s rarely about me. I don’t need to take it personally.

Curiosity Keeps Playfulness Alive

Most of all, being curious helps keep the playfulness in our marriage. This photo of my husband was taken a couple weeks ago while we were out shopping for Halloween costumes.

We both love Bugs Bunny’s “What’s Opera, Doc?” episode … you remember that one? Where Elmer Fudd plays a viking? Check it out below…

Hopefully we’ll always keep that playfulness alive. Then again, I think it would be impossible not to. Chris is a hoot!

 

boundaries-courtneybeardall

Boundaries & Rules in Family Life

One of the questions I’m asking the successful women entrepreneurs I’m interviewing for the summit and book is, “Do you have rules or boundaries in your marriage and family?”

A few days ago, I interviewed Courtney Beardall and asked her this question. You can listen to Courtney’s 2-minute reply here:

      Courtney+Beardall+on+Boundaries

I loved her delightful list of “family rules.”

  1. Be thankful.
  2. Pay with hugs and kisses
  3. Do your best.
  4. Try new things.
  5. Be happy.
  6. Use kind words.
  7. Laugh all the time.
  8. Share.
  9. Listen to your parents.
  10. Say please and thank you.
  11. Trust God.
  12. Remember to always pray
  13. Love each other.

boundaries-courtneybeardall

What rules or boundaries do you set in your marriage and family?

courtney beardallCourtney Beardall lives with her family in Northern Wyoming. If you don’t find her in her healing room, you will find her on a mountain top with her kids or exploring something new. Learning is a life long process and she is always looking for new and better ways to incorporate science, biology and spiritual laws.

She is the creator of Investigating health, an energy modality that incorporates all aspects of the human body, including hormones, chemicals, structure, physiology and behavioral disorders. She teaches online courses in energy healing. Visit her at www.CourtneyBeardall.com.